2010 NBA Playoff Predictions

Most publications record their playoff predictions before the playoffs actually begin. Not me. In fact, I don't even predict the first two rounds. It's a waste of time. In 2010, there's really only one team that matters--Cleveland.

I was extremely close to predicting the Cavaliers to win it all, having forgotten the painful memories of Cleveland sports' failures past, none of which I care to rehash, including last year's Cavaliers' playoff fiasco against the Magic.

I have, therefore, come up with two possible scenarios for the 2010 NBA playoffs:

1. Cleveland cruises through the Eastern Conference, losing just two games (one each to Boston and Orlando). They take a 3-0 lead against the Lakers on a LeBron James 3-pointer at the buzzer. The series is all but over. Northern Ohio is in a state of near pandemonium, realizing the 46-year professional sports championship drought is about to come to an end. Game 4 begins and LeBron blows out his ACL and a stunned Cavs team loses the next three by a combined 57 points. Mike Brown gets fired after game 6 and LeBron is named coach. The team leads most of the game. A plucky Lakers squad cuts it to 2 with 4.3 seconds left. Coach James, wanting his good friend Shaquille O'Neal on the floor to celebrate against his former team, calls a timeout to insert the big fella, whom the Lakers foul immediately. Shaq misses both free throws. Kobe Bryant grabs the rebound falling out of bounds at his own end and throws up a desperation 94-footer that bounces on the rim 9 times and goes in. Pandemonium ensues. The entire city jumps into Lake Erie with concrete slabs tied to their waste. Lebron heals, signs with Orlando and wins 13 consecutive NBA titles.
2. This one's more realistic. In this scenario, Cleveland leads in the finals 3-2 heading back to Cleveland for games 6 and 7. Once again, the Northern Ohio faithful wait impatiently for their first professional sports title in 46 years. The plane carrying the team crashes into Lake Erie, killing everyone except Sebastian Telfair, Jamario Moon, Daniel Gibson, Jawad Williams, and J.J. Hickson. The remaining five, calling themselves the Cadavaliers, put up a good fight but run out of gas, losing both games by double digits before less than a thousand fans, the rest already having joined their beloved Cadavaliers at the bottom of Lake Erie in a mass suicide.

I changed my mind. Just for fun I'll predict the series leading up to the most devastating loss since the Russians cheated in the 1972 gold medal Olympic basketball game.

Cleveland 4 Chicago 0
Boston 4 Miami 3
Atlanta 4 Milwaukee 1
Orlando 4 Charlotte 0

Cleveland 4 Boston 1
Orlando 4 Atlanta o

Cleveland 4 Orlando 1

L.A. 4 OKC 1
Denver 4 Utah 3
Dallas 4 San Antonio 1
Phoenix 4 Portland o

LA 4 Denver 3
Phoenix 4 Dallas 2

LA 4 Phoenix 3